What distinguishes mid-level employees from top management? One of the important factors, without which it is difficult to build a “vertical” career, is the level of social and emotional intelligence. Let’s figure out what these terms mean and how to create a personal development plan.
The main task of a manager is to effectively organize the work of a team and the interaction between different departments. That is why the ability to understand your own and other people’s emotions, as well as manage them, will allow you to achieve the best results. At the same time, such a skill will be useful for employees at any level of professional development – it helps to effectively establish communication with colleagues and competently organize work in a team. Olga Loskutova, Vice President of the Washing Machines and Dryers Business Unit in the North American Region of Whirlpool, explained what social and emotional intelligence are, how they differ, and how to draw up a personal development plan.
Which is correct: social or emotional intelligence?
Lately, we often hear at work, in the media, or from friends about such concepts as social and emotional intelligence. But what do they mean, and how do they affect our lives? In the middle of the 20th century, the term “emotional intelligence” appeared in the scientific community, which characterized a person’s ability to understand and manage their own emotions, as well as the emotions of other people. Over time, this theory has received many developments, including “social intelligence”. It meant a person’s ability to effectively exist in society: to feel and understand the context of a situation, communicate with others, listen to them, and influence their beliefs. Social intelligence develops through our successful and not-so-successful experiences of interacting with people and our ability to analyze and learn from our mistakes ( read also: “The Theory of Business Positivity: How Mirror Neurons and Empathy Work” ).
In essence, these concepts are interconnected, and social intelligence logically follows from emotional intelligence. Emotions are connected to our deepest values and beliefs. If something goes against them, negative emotions appear, and, conversely, if it agrees, then positive ones. Emotions then shape behavior, which directly affects relationships with others, career, and, therefore, the future as a whole. This is why the level of our emotional-social intelligence determines our life.
How to work with emotional-social intelligence?
When it comes to professional and personal development, you need to understand what limitations or barriers you have, what makes you behave in a certain way, and what your triggers are – events or situations that cause certain emotions. There are 4 stages of working with emotional-social intelligence:
Understanding your own emotions. At the first stage, it is important to learn to be aware of what you feel and what causes certain emotions. For example, if during an important meeting you suddenly began to actively defend your position, your colleagues may regard this as aggression and will conduct the conversation in the same tone. In such a situation, you need to stop and think about why you felt the desire to defend yourself, what words or actions caused such a reaction, and why you felt these particular emotions.
Managing your emotions. Understanding how you feel gives you the ability to manage your emotions. For example, once you realize that your colleagues’ questions or counterarguments to your proposal can trigger a desire to defend your position more emotionally, you can consciously decide not to give in to this trigger.
Understanding other people’s emotions. Once you achieve harmony with yourself, you are ready to move to a new level – to effective interaction with others. For example, if during a general meeting a colleague began to “attack” you and bombard you with questions, the first step is to understand what is important to him in this situation, what emotions he is experiencing, why he began to behave this way and whether you could have hurt him in some way. It is important to learn not only to track your emotions, but also those of others.
Managing other people’s emotions is the highest level of skill. Having mastered the skill of empathy, a person can influence the emotions and, therefore, the behavior of others.
Why do you need a personal development plan?
Professional development is inextricably linked with personal growth. It is impossible to become a good manager without becoming a mature person – these are interconnected things. By developing yourself as a person and working on your emotional and social intelligence, you will also be able to achieve success not only in your career but also in your personal life.
The first step is to think about what limits you and what you would like to develop in yourself and your relationships with people around you. It is important not to be afraid to act, development is only possible through experience. A plan will help to collect all your thoughts together and develop a step-by-step strategy. Choose 3 main areas for development and formulate 3 goals. They need to be set as clearly and practically as possible, imagining the result. It is useful not to perceive this process as changing yourself, it is better to focus on becoming the best version of yourself while maintaining your uniqueness and individuality. Here are some examples of goals and tips on how to work with them.
Goal #1: Learn to respond calmly and constructively to criticism during business meetings
Continuing with the example mentioned above, you make your proposal at meetings, but when you hear doubts from your colleagues, you become defensive and begin to emotionally defend your ideas. Although constructive dialogue with colleagues would help the common cause.
If you understand that you need to do something about the situation, you are halfway there. Then you need to think about why you felt vulnerable. Then the best strategy is not to take it personally (“nothing personal, just business”). Your colleagues do not want to offend you, they just have a different perspective and a different opinion. Instead of defending yourself, you should ask what they mean. Openness to other people’s opinions will not only expand your understanding of the situation and improve your work results, but also improve your relationships with your colleagues. You can formulate a different, more useful perception of similar situations: for example, if there are questions and a different point of view, this does not mean that you are wrong or you are not accepted, it is simply an invitation to discussion, exchange of opinions and search for a solution acceptable to everyone.
Make a deal with yourself and make the following part of your plan: as soon as you feel yourself reacting to your “triggers,” stop, take a short break, and think about how you can respond in a more constructive way. For example, instead of repeating your arguments, ask questions to better clarify your colleague’s position.
Goal #2: Increase the productivity of business meetings
The effectiveness of meetings at work can depend on many factors, but from the point of view of emotional intelligence, colleagues must be on the same page. When a manager leads a project, he or she must understand which key employees will influence the success of the project. It is important to find out their opinions before the meeting and discuss possible “painful” issues in advance. Do not be shy about approaching and directly asking what they think about a specific issue. Preparatory work before the meeting is an important component of successful negotiations. Managers with high emotional intelligence will not have heated battles at meetings because they have already thought about how key employees will react and consulted with them.
Goal #3: Make useful contacts for career development
If you want to move up the career ladder, then good relationships with colleagues can significantly accelerate professional growth. How can you establish useful business contacts? First of all, it is not only the relationship with your immediate supervisor that is important, but also with other colleagues who also affect your career prospects. For example, you are a brand manager and report to the marketing director. But do not forget about the sales director, who works closely with the latter. If you do not build a trusting relationship with the head of the sales department, then the likelihood of becoming the head of the marketing department will be low.
Moreover, in modern companies, all promotion decisions are usually made by a group of people. Choose a few colleagues with whom you would like to establish relationships and ask yourself: “What common ground can I have with these people?” As a brand manager, it will be useful for you to meet in person from time to time with the sales director and find out his opinion on certain issues. This will allow you not only to expand your understanding of the situation and gain new knowledge, but also to build good relationships.
It is also important to have the right attitude towards this goal. In no case is it about “licking up” or “manipulating”. What is important is your sincere desire to gain new knowledge, expand your “picture of the world,” and build good, trusting relationships with colleagues in order to successfully develop your business together. People always feel what drives you.
And finally…
Once you have set your goals and made a plan to achieve them, it is important to practice the new behavior model at least 15 times to make the habit stick. At the end of each day, it is useful to set aside 10 minutes to analyze how you are progressing in achieving your goals, what skills you managed to practice, what worked, and what to pay attention to next time.